When I was an infant, I relied on my mother. As a small child, I loved my mother. When I became a teenager, I hated my mother. As I grew up in my 20s, I questioned my mother. As I became a mother, I seeked out my mother. And now that I am a mother, I appreciate my mother more then ever. With all her imperfections, bountifully flawed, I choose to only recall the good. She, despite the bad, has helped me become the person, the woman I am today.
Her actions as a mom, both positive and negative, taught me resilience and strength. Power of faith and of ones own resolve. I was not the perfect child, I rebelled in ways that people would be surprised to know. Nevertheless, I came out the other side, stronger, wiser, full of empathy and love. These lessons I bring into my parenting.
Now with three kids of my own, I try to do better. There are days as a mom I feel defeated and question my "mom skills". I wonder if I am doing any of it right. I've learned that only a good mom would ask herself that because it means we care about our kids, that they matter. When I find myself saying "oh, that mom makes it look so easy." I recall a Ms. Sallie, when i told her, "I just don't want to mess them up." and she simply replied "Oh honey, you are going to one way or another. We can't be perfect." Motherhood comes with no book all though there are a million that will tell us one way or another how to be with our kids. In the end, we all write our own books. So I just do the best I can.
I'm taking the time to know my kids as individuals and am allowing them to teach me as I teach them. I am doing my best to raise them with love and compassion. They teach me to practise patience and understanding. Most importantly they remind me the importance of breathing! When the madness of scheduling for a family of five can seem endless or the kids all screaming for me at once puts me at the edge, I breathe. The crazy passes and then I can tend to the next task or child.
A short note of thanks to my second mother, my sister. She was always there to pick up the pieces where my mom perhaps slipped. She protected me from others and myself. She tried her best to keep me safe. Even in the worst of times as sisters, she always was there for me. She has always been the warm jacket on a blustery winters day. Thanks M for not letting me go out in the snow in high waters.
So Happy Mother's Day, to all mothers out there, new and experienced. For the dads, who have the job of mom as well. Keep it up, your doing great! We have the best salary-less job in the world. We get paid with hugs, kisses and with the bright smiles of our children. For me, that is payment enough.
Enjoy your Mother's Day!
And as always, Be Blessed, Be Healthy and Be Beautiful!
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So I ask that today you take a moment to think about those lives lost. To be grateful for the sacrifices that they and their families made so that you can sit out to enjoy the warm sun, barbecue in their memory and pray for those still out there defending freedom. 