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| Get up and dance I says.... hehe! |
Today is a day to give thanks. Granted history is a bit twisted on what actually happened this day but lets hold true to the grand marketed day, Thanksgiving.
Since it is about giving thanks, I thought I would look back on the last year or two and summarize the many things I can give thanks for. My mom loves to make us go around the table and say what we are thankful for. She loves that stuff. It's not a terrible tradition but it can put you on the spot if you don't take the time to tell yourself often what to be grateful for through out the year.
The year my mom started this tradition, I was taken so off guard, that I was said "I guess I am grateful for the fact that I didn't burn up in my car." (It had spontaneously caught fire while parked at a mall a few weeks prior. Not even kidding.) In any case, after that I realized I had way more to be thankful for so now I try to be prepared for when my mom asks, "what do you have to be thankful for?"
Two years ago, I was thankful that the people I love were not taken by Hurricane Sandy. And though we all had some loss to deal with, the fact that our lives were still intact was one great thing to be thankful for. When something like that happens and you lose so much, I think it is hard to remind yourself that there is still much to be thankful for. That year, I was certainly thankful because I know it could have been even worse and it was for so many.
Last year, I was grateful for my family. For the support I was given by them in a very difficult time during bed rest. That the twins were born healthy despite being born early and placed on Life supporting machines for a bit. Again, in the hospital I was reminded that life could be worse. There I was able to see the smallest of lives fighting to live. It still breaks my heart. Yet, I also was able to see many of them strive, like my own two. Every day I look at them and am reminded of the miracle that was provided to me. To be told "You will have no more children." and then actually become pregnant. And though I suffered miscarriages, here they were. All three of my children, my personal miracles. So yeah, I was really thankful last year for all that I had been blessed with.
This year, I am thankful for my family and friends. For those that have stayed a part of my life through out it all. Who chose to make the effort to love me still. To keep in touch even when it got hard or time consuming. For helping me with the kids either by sending packages filled with clothes, diapers, giant strollers, etc. (So appreciative!) Coming over to help me with them, letting me get a minute to myself (supermarket run) or pampering me with an hour of beauty to myself. To attempting to speak with me on the phone even when I have kids screaming or crying in background. Especially to those who came from far away to see me and my family. To acknowledge that in any way you still care enough about me to be apart of my new life here, no matter the distance. I once said to someone "Geography isn't what keeps us apart, it's us." So to all of you that made and continue to make the effort to stay connected, Thank you. I am truly thankful to have you in our lives. You are appreciated and loved.
For Mom, Dad and M. Wow! You have been my biggest supporters and helpers. I love you so much. Thank you. To my in-laws, for taking your son in and helping us along with so much. Thank you. We love very much.
Also, for my husband, who puts up with my attitude more then necessary. (Sometimes it really feels necessary. Just saying.) I love him so much and am thankful that we are now a complete family again. The year and a half living in two separate zip codes while he searched for employment here was rough. Very. The struggles we have been through have made us stronger. He seriously drives me nuts sometimes but I am sure he can say the same. Either way, we can honestly say we have tested our relationship over and over again. We are stronger for it. For that, I know I am thankful.
Lastly, I am thankful because after everything that has gone on this past year. I can hold my head up and know that I am stronger for it. I can handle anything life tosses my way. To do it with real courage, dignity and without complaint. (I mean really, who really is listening when you complain all the time?) Life gave me a whole lot of lemons this past year but I fought back and made a whole lot of lemonade. (You get that this a metaphor, right?) And though I may cry from time to time, I'm still okay. Life is good. We are good today. For me, if my family, immediate or otherwise is okay, I'll take it. That in itself is enough to be thankful for.
As my parents get older and closer to meeting the end of their lives, as I approach what I hope is the middle of my life, I realized a few things. Most importantly that you can't hold on to baggage from your past. Acknowledge it, accept it for what it is/was and let it go. (Please don't start singing that song!) You can't change people or live life to please others. Appreciate what you have before you because the "wanting" is always what gets you in the end. It blinds you sometimes. I no longer buy into the bullshit that if I just give a little bit more of myself or whatever, that people will see I have something to offer. I live my life as I choose best and no longer complicate it by trying to get others to care about me or even acknowledge my existence. Finding explanation for other peoples actions is not my job. It really is like the song, Let it Go, isn't it? "Let it go, Let it go....." (haha! Try getting that out of your head now.) Oh yes and laugh. Laugh as much as you can.
So I hope that many of you reading have something to be thankful for and that you appreciate the life you have. My wish for you all in the new year is that you can do just that if you haven't already. Allow yourself to be happy, however that may be. And always, be thankful.
As always,
Be Blessed, Be Healthy and Be Beautiful!
